Rihanna skipped the Met Gala, but not her (animated) marble statue

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Today, the gods of Instagram gave us a glimpse of what great contemporary art could be. What if the sacred and tourist halls of the Metropolitan Museum of Art housed not only neoclassical sculptures of ancient Greeks with perfectly proportioned bodies, but a sculpture of Rihanna?

vogue gave us a little taste of this beautiful utopia on Tuesday, when they posted a video with a digital render of a pregnant Rihanna as a marble statue alongside other marble statues at the Met. “The statue of ‘Eirene (the personification of peace)’ is usually the most prominent marble goddess in Greco-Roman galleries @themetmuseum”, vogue wrote on Instagram. “But now we have @badgalriri, right this month vogue cover.”

Rihanna does the belly pose that makes her famous with the vines of her Alaïa bodysuit carved into the facade of the animated marble sculpture. At first glance, it looks real – so real that several outlets actually refer to it as a marble sculpture. Unfortunately, the Met isn’t going to sell out with people eager to pose next to a Rihanna sculpture anytime soon. On average, casting marble sculptures would take ancient Greek sculptors at least 12 months, which is actually longer than the gestation of a pregnancy. While we feel like we’ve been graced with Rihanna’s groundbreaking post-maternity fashion for years, the pop star didn’t reveal her pregnancy until late January, so it’s unlikely anyone had time to carve a life-size statue. With today’s modern technology, we guess it doesn’t take more than a year, but again, the ancient Greeks didn’t have Twitter to distract them.

Nevertheless, let this be a call to marble sculptors: from today, the medium you have chosen is no longer obsolete. There is, in fact, demand for marble sculptures, as long as they are from Rihanna, who herself praised the creation with an Instagram grid post: “Stop marble it! what could be more golden than that? You are bad for this one.

A sculpture of Rihanna only makes sense. There’s arguably no celebrity who’s achieved peak cultural deity status, which she cemented when she dressed as the Pope for the 2018 Met Gala. Plus, Rihanna’s rendering is the first and the Met’s only sculpture that shows a pregnant woman – reason no. 400 someone needs to start casting this sculpture, ASAP.

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